here I am again....
things are certainly changed and changing for me...
in many ways I am just numb
so much needs to be done/and all must be done by me
::sigh:: I'm so damn tired...
in case anyone here does not know
Road-Dawg has a stroke on June 23rd
it was a very bad brain bleed
and there is quite a bit of "damage" we are trying to "live thru" here
some odd things I've taken notice of
aside from the obvious...like, he is paralyzed on the right side
and he has trouble thinking & remembering
he has become passive...non combative
at times, many times, he is very childlike
he worries *alot* about everything
strangely curious...his taste has changed
he used to be a "hot & spicey" guy
::when I say hot, I mean habanero hot::
now, he eats waffles almost every day with maple syrup
::something he would never eat before::
and he has only "tried" his hot sauce once since we got home...
he has some strange OCD/ADD things that pop out every now and then
::the bleed occured in the basal ganglia
the part of the brain where they believe these type of behaviors originate::
these may have always been there
but now they are more obvious
its difficult on so many levels
I don't really think anyone can fully understand unless they have dealt with a similar brain injury
I'm not here for pity or help really
I guess I just need to talk every now and then
maybe it will help me, maybe it won't
does it really matter?
I will tell you this...
so many things really *don't* matter
it's difficult to explain
and I really hope none of you ever have to realize this
in the same manner I have.